I nearly LOST you

Last night I stayed up till 11:30pm watching the epic finale of LOST and then stayed awake the rest of the night because I couldn’t sleep afterwards. I have a real problem with watching thought provoking shows before bed because I can’t turn my brain off and fall right to sleep the same way I can after say, Chelsea Handler. That’s why I don’t watch a lot of hospital or police or sad family dramas because they leave me feeling all broken and introspective and then I can’t relax enough to sleep. And I need sleep way more than I need heavy television.

That said, I loved all six years of LOST and I loved the finale. It did leave some unanswered questions and it didn’t end exactly the way I wanted it to, but it gave me closure on the key characters and it made me cry at least seven different times. Since I’m strangely allergic to my own tears, you can imagine how awesome I look today. Thanks, Sayid and Shannon.

The best part about the LOST finale was the moments when the people in the sideways universe would suddenly remember who the others were. All of those moments played out perfect. Especially the ones where we knew one of the people was already dead in the island world. I think anyone who ever watched the show and has a heart had to have loved those moments. But for me they had special meaning.

You see, ever since my mom died in 1997, I’ve secretly been waiting for the great soap opera moment when the beloved presumed dead person turns out to have just been injured and gotten amnesia and spent a few years wandering around some exotic location before accidently showing back up in town, being recognized and having all their memories come rushing back. Like anyone else who has lost someone important in their lives, I want that stupid soap opera scenario more than anything. She doesn’t even need to have amnesia. I’d gladly forgive her for all the grief, if it would just turn out that like Dylan McKay’s dad she had to fake her tragic death so she could enter the witness protection plan after turning states evidence.

How awesome would it be to bump into people you thought you had lost forever and suddenly remember every wonderful moment you had with them? How amazing would it be to touch someone’s hand and realize you were connected? Of course, I wouldn’t want this to happen in some special parallel universe that had been created so all the people I loved could find me when I’m dead. I’d rather be alive and just “have the touch”.

In that scenario, I’d be able to touch the hand of my brother Kevin and suddenly all his hate would melt away and he’d have immediate full color recollection of the eighteen years we were best friends. I’d touch the hand of my former friend April and suddenly all her insecurities and self righteousness would disappear and she would see a stream of memories of our friendship. And I would touch my friend Kirby and he wouldn’t just remember who I am, he would remember who he is and let that really great guy come back out.

If I had my own version of the “LOST touch” there are so many people I could help, starting with myself. Because like Jack and Hurley, I’m at my best when I’m helping the people I love and when I’m unable to do that I often find myself, well, lost.